I am one of those rare persons who goes to church and gets angry. I do not go there for that purpose, but it happens occasionally. I converted to Catholicism two years ago, so when I go to church, I listen and think about whether or not the Church's beliefs coincide with my own. Before you condemn me for being Catholic, my views on religion are liberal: I believe that there is no such thing as the "right" religion; there are so many religions because each one fits someone and helps them to become a better person.

With that in mind, I will now go into my rant from last Sunday.

The first reading was from the Book of Proverbs in the Old Testament. It was about the benefits of a good wife and how she can be a treasure, walking with her distaff and that she should be appreciated. I am a feminist and in complete agreement with women being appreciated. However, I found many problems with this reading. Yes, I believe women should be good wives IF they have a good and supporting husband. Good husbands are just as much of a treasure as good wives. For many years people have been writing that women with bad husbands have to stick around and take it, but that God and other people will know that their situation is unjust. However, no one steps in to help them with their burden. That is not right. There should have been a passage about the good husband who helps his wife emotionally and, perhaps, financially.

That brings me to my second point: relationship roles. Recently, relationship roles have started changing. Now women can ask men out on dates, propose marriage to them, and there are stay at home dads. Now it can be the man that "holds the distaff." (The distaff, by the way, is a symbol used in literature for the good woman because it symbolizes her sewing, which she brings around with her everywhere. Considering many women do not know how to sew these days, suffice it to say that that symbol is grossly outdated.). This is another reason why people cannot really relate to this passage today.

One of the reasons I like the Catholic Church is because the Pope is supposed to interpret the Bible when passages become outdated so people can still apply them, or realize that they should no longer be heeded, such as the issue of slavery. The Pope or the priest should have done that for this passage. During his homily, the priest reiterated that marriage should be between a man and a woman (though homosexual couples bring love into the world, which is more christian than the heterosexual epidemic of divorce these days. I'll stop before I'm excommunicated.) and that people in a relationship should exhibit Godly characteristics. Yes, both people in a relationship should be loving, supportive, respectful, etc. in a relationship, but he did nothing to qualify the passage except mention that it was patriarchal--no shit.

This is what he should have said.

The distaff was an old symbol for the good woman who brought her sewing around with her everywhere she went so that she, too could contribute to the household. Obviously, women do not do that these days, but let us think about what makes us valuable to a relationship. It is not only important for women to be godly in a relationship, but for men as well. Both parties need to be loving, generous, respectful, and good people in general. This passage should not only be about the virtues of a good wife, but of a good husband as well. Also, the values in this passage are outdated. It used to be that marriage was a business contract to benefit both families with the woman being the payment, hence the dowry. The concept of love marriages came about as recently as the nineteenth century, though they did not become successful until modern day (that may still be up for debate because if people come from too different of backgrounds, they may not be successful in the long run if their relationship is solely based on love, a fleeting emotion). Since our concept of marriage has greatly changed since then, we cannot look at this passage literally, but figuratively. The message it should convey to you is that we all need to take the time to appreciate one another in our relationships, not only sexual ones or relationships between a married couple. Take this time to reflect if you have exhibited godly characteristics in your relationships and if not, where can you improve? Also, think about those with whom you engage in relationships. Have you taken them for granted? Take some time to appreciate them.

That should have been the message. However, I was sitting there, listening to this priest and getting more and more angry, to the point where I wanted to walk out of the church. As I sat there fuming and glaring at the priest, I looked around. People were not paying attention and had glazed looks on their faces. I understand that church may get redundant week after week. But if you go every Sunday, that's 52 hours in a year that you sit there wasting your time and not listening or trying to improve yourself, which is one of the purposes of church. So, if you go to church, if you do any activity, pay attention and think, otherwise you are wasting your time.