So far graduate school is going really well. I only teach one class this semester, so it is much easier than I am used to! My students were shy today and not too inclined to speak. If they are anything like my former students, that will change quickly. They did not seem enthusiastic to be there, but I know that not everyone loves English or composition. Hopefully I can at least teach them how important it is in any career field. It will also be interesting to see how Arizona students stack up against students from other states. I know the Arizona rating for education is low, but I think we should be higher than we are.

I have only attended one class so far, and we just went over the syllabus. My next class is in two hours. It is reminiscent of undergrad, which is comforting, but there is a considerable amount of work! One of my friends said that I will always have some form of homework, and I am beginning to see that now. However, it does not seem too different from being a teacher. I always had to plan, grade, and create materials. The only difference here is that I will also have to read, write, and research. While that sounds overwhelming, I have much more time at home than I did as a teacher. While working full time, I was out of the house--strictly for work purposes--for nine hours a day, 45 hours per week. This semester I will be out of the house twelve hours per week. That does not include the commute time, which is about 20 minutes per day, round trip, which is an additional hour and 20 minutes. If I continue to have good work ethic, which I will, it shouldn't be too much more work than a regular, full-time job. I wonder if two months from now I will laugh at myself for writing that...we shall see!

It has been a while since my last post because I have been really busy! I decided that I wanted to go back to school for a PhD in English Literature. I have been experiencing a lot of change: moving to a one-bedroom apartment, ending my career as a middle school teacher, and starting a graduate program. Unfortunately, due to all of those changes, I have not had very much time to knit. Hopefully I will be able to make time for it soon. Getting back to graduate school...

I have been in orientation the last few days and I have learned a lot about myself and my new colleagues. The first few days I was timid and did not want to participate in discussions or talk much to people; I was reserved. I was nervous for a few reasons. I haven't been in school for three years. As such, I'm worried that I'm rusty on my essay writing and critical thinking. I'm worried that I won't have enough time to read (at least two books a week!). I'm worried that I'll be the worst PhD candidate in my program when I'm used to being at the top of my class. All summer I have been forgetting the silliest words! What if that were to happen while I was teaching? Or what if my vocabulary left me during a class discussion and I couldn't communicate as eloquently as the others? My list of fears goes on and on.

Now that I've met my colleagues and chatted with them for a few days, I learned that I'm not the only one who feels this way. Many of my colleagues are starting again after a few years of being away from academia. We are all concerned about the work load. We all have been rejected from multiple graduate programs. None of us know the exact trick to getting into graduate school, though all of us have. This makes me more comfortable. It's not that misery loves company, but I am reassured that I am not the only one with doubts. I feel less like the black sheep.

When I was an undergrad, I idolized the graduate students. They were so professional and so intelligent! I had them on a pedestal. Now I'm one of those students. Perhaps I know more than I give myself credit for.

After a few days of being with my colleagues, I am feeling much more confident. We are all starting with worries and doubts, but we are learning together and helping each other. My critical thinking skills are working faster and faster. I am pleased to say that my vocabulary is quickly coming back. Everyday I am becoming more confident, though being accepted into a program should have given me that from the beginning.

Now my knitting has met steep competition: graduate school. Hopefully I will be able to make time for my favorite hobby, especially since reading and writing--my other loves--have become my job!

Happy knitting, reading, and writing!